Bend Betties

She doesn’t play golf now but she will probably start in her 80s, when she’s run out of other things to do. But she plays about everything else, the real sports. The ones that leave her sweaty, weathered, dehydrated. She always orders water with no ice just before she drinks a beer. (Oh, to keep up with the water is a continuous Camelback-carrying process.) She couldn’t change a tire on her car, but she can change one on her bike. She can put her kayak on the roof of her Subaru with a little help. 

She is thirty to seventy  something and her thighs are proof of the hundred mile bike ride she did last week, the ski marathon she did last winter. She has every sunscreen known to man; the oily sprays, the lathery creams, and the smear on lip glosses with nothing less than SPF20. She wears running bras even when she isn’t doing sports because they are just more comfortable. And she has a shoe collection that would make any New York City girl envious, only these shoes match sports and not outfits. 

She does in fact own an iron, but it’s in the garage, right next to the ski rack and it has not once been used to press girl clothes. She does 4 hours of yoga a week and the only time she heads to the spa is for a deep tissue massage to relieve her from the latest insane adventure. 

 Her name is Betty ….Bend Betty. There are lots of Betties in Bend, Oregon sports town USA. I see them every time I go running, to the grocery store, or to a concert in the park.

The other day I saw the QUEEN of Betties just blazing down a hill on a skateboard, bikini top, miniskirt and pair of sandals that would be perfect for lugging a canoe into the backwoods. She had on FLY GIRL shades and she made the whole art of skateboarding look just like riding a bike. As easy as pie….. as if skateboarding across the US would be a possible task. Such style, such grace. All in a mini …. Oh, how she made me laugh. The Queen of Betties. 

The Bend Betties. Mean girls who play all the real sports, the sports that make them sweat and give them legs like they skateboarded from New York to Oregon all in one day, only stopping to suck down more water and apply a new type of sunscreen. 

 By Linda English