The Sport of Windging

Windger. A person who is always whining or moaning. The definition of Linda D English 2 days after she has returned from a terrific warm (did I mention warm?) sun-filled, beach vacation to Australia. (Windger was a commonly used word in Australia, but one not common enough to show up on my spellchecker in Microsoft Word, which means of course that officially it cannot really be a word. Just one of those tossed around by the Brits and Ozzies to turn us yanks into “spot on” idiots.)

And while I think I could have accepted the windging for maybe a day or two, I have now been on solid three days of windging. Daylight to midnight and then some. I peer out the front door, see a speck of snow and start to just whimper. Why how could I possibly go outside???
After a few days of being sick with a cold (perfect for more windging) I found myself out of excuses as to why I have not been up skiing. So my girlfriend picks me up on a bright, sunny day and off we go up to the Nordic area. With perfect snow conditions, just slightly powdery snow that have been wonderfully groomed, we trudged up the hill. And while typically when we ski, I think of a gliding motion, today I feel more as if we are clunking along and all I can hear is the wheezing in my lungs from trying to adjust back to the altitude of Bend.

“Hey Cass”, I yell, “I think I have some bad wax. “ In a few minutes, I continue, “you know, this type of snow, this fluffy stuff that LOOKS like it was groomed, it makes the course half as fast.” And just as I spew out my last complaint I see a figure coming straight at us … a woman at quite a consistent speed, pulling a small baby trailer behind her. Ah, it’s the legendary Beckie Scott. Miss Canadian Olympic Gold Medalist who, I quickly remind myself is 10 years my junior. She just floats along with the trailer bobbing behind her. Easy strokes, I can hear the SWHOOOSH in her skis.

I smile and wave and she returns the smile back as if she had just won the Miss Congeniality pageant., which would not be out of the question for Beckie. After winning a Bronze and Gold in the last winter Olympics, Beckie has been busy promoting drug free sports and the right for women to play sports in Africa. She’s also traveled across Canada to help host a variety of ski races, including one at a venue that was named after her.

The day is really perfect, with the trees all covered in snow and bright endless sunshine. Cass and I slug up and over the hill and eventually find ourselves enjoying the downhill that sucks us straight back into the parking lot with very little effort. On the downhill, Cass and I chatter away, catching up on town gossip and stories of the Outback.

But when I am again back at my house, I see the pictures in my new electronic picture frame (a seriously bad idea to load only your vacation pictures immediately after you return) and once again I begin to windge. I decide to look up Becky Scott on the Internet and sure enough there are more than a few pictures of our dear Beckie. I read her bio from the Canadian ski team and then I start to laugh … I imagine myself doing a little head to head comparison against Beckie. (This is what happens when you start to focus on marketing intelligence in your job!)

Becky Scott, two time Olympic Skier (see insert below for complete list of wins) Date of Birth: August 1, 1974. Place of Birth: Vegreville, AB. Hometown: Vermilion, AB. Club: Vermilion Ski Club Coach: Dave Wood, Torbjorn Karlsen. Wax Technician: Yves Bilodeau. Personal Sponsors: Haywood Securities Inc., Bell Mobility, GEDCO, Crawford Adjusters Inc., Lemoine Hyland Chartered Accountants, Madshus, Salomon, Lulu Lemon Athletica, Subaru Calgary, Rudy Project. Equipment. Skis: Madshus. Poles: SWIX. Boots/Bindings: Salomon: No idea

Linda English, 5 time finisher in the Great Nordeen ski race. (Ok, once I took off my skis and walked into the finish!) Date of Birth: None of your business. Place of Birth: Miami, Florida (now this could be a problem) Hometown: Ft. Lauderdale (now this could be a bigger problem) Club: Brassey’s “Home of Kick Ass Rock N Roll” in Cocoa Beach, Florida. Coach: Hmm, is this a trick question. Wax Technician: I use a razor on my legs once a week during the winter and every other day during the summer. Personal Sponsors: My husband standing at the finish line when it’s been taken down, cheering for me to finish. Skis: Blue ones and a pair of red ones . Poles: Yellow and Blue Ones. Boots/Bindings: No idea

I read through Beckie’s impressive background, which included tid bits such as “her mother helped to organize the local chapter of the Jackrabbit Ski League”, and “Beckie began her competitive sporting career as a swimmer, but gravitated toward Nordic skiing.” And then it goes on for pages and pages of the races she has won around the world, with an entire page dedicated to races that she won in Canada.

I can only hear myself starting to windge again, thinking “well, if only MY MOTHER was head of the Jackrabbit Ski league” instead of head of Girl Scout Troup 389 … well,” And then up flashes one of the amazing pictures of a beach in Australia. I pause her to think a bit. I then start to laugh about all those cold Canadian days …. Slugging through piles of snow to finish a workout. It doesn’t seem to compare to lazy days on the beach …. Watching surfers ride the waves and going for a run along the ocean.

No more windging for me!