Drifting

I'm five miles off the coast of Florida, at a point where the landscape turns into a concerning blur.  I'm in the bigger of the two small boats that my sister Lisa and her husband Jeff own.

We are just off Panacea, a town surrounded by bird-filled saltwater marshes.    A place that only attracts tourists who ended up lost on their way to somewhere else.  The few hundred residents are scattered in trailers around a tattoo shop, a bar, a grocery store, a seafood shop that also sells gator tails, and an ice machine.   The two jewels of the town include a small aquarium that is a collection of local animals and a restaurant that serves standard bar food on the water in the safety of a screened porch for people who were drawn here for the marina.

On the boat, my sister Lisa  tries to whisper to her husband that he shouldn't go fast because she's sure it will scare me.  (I'm the gal from a desert in Oregon, so what do I know about boats, oceans, or tides.)

The sound of the engine sounds like an enthusiastic vibrator with a pack of new batteries (an image that makes me laugh.)  The hot sun and harsh chop make the ride anything but comfortable.  I sit in the back of the boat and hang on to a railing, tighter I'm sure than necessary.

Lisa loves fishing in the same way that I love cycling.  Any time, any day and she will have reel in hand ready to go.

Lisa continues with a conversation that seems to be more about her finishing what she's saying than having any real interaction.  She points out to a vague location.   She screams into the wind, against the sound of the motor. I smile and nod.

I don't quite understand the draw of an open ocean.  I always feel so exposed.  As if that huge rogue wave could swallow me at any time.  And the scenery of an open ocean, while no doubt beautiful, fails to keep me entertained  ... Just different hues of green and blue with the background of a big sky.

For my boating pleasure, I much prefer hugging the bays, twisting along narrow canals hugged by large cypress trees.....paddling along on either a kayak or an SUP.   Finding manatees, gators, and long-legged water birds ....

I let Lisa enjoy her fantasy; heading out to the depth of the unknown.   If we were on bikes she would be thinking what I'm thinking now, wondering what exactly I get out of this.  And I would be screaming into the wind, pointing in vague directions, having a conversation that seems to be solely focused on me finishing what I am saying rather than any real interaction.